Examples of Self Limiting Beliefs
John Hain from Pixabay
As human beings, our view of the world is full of examples of self limiting beliefs. Perhaps the easiest way to recognize these beliefs is to pay attention to our language.
All of us have heard someone say, and maybe said ourselves, each of the following:
I’ll be happy when…
I wasn’t taught or shown how to…
I’m not good enough for...
Let’s think about each of these statements. “I’ll be happy when…” carries within it a powerful statement to ourselves which becomes a solid reality upon repetition. That message is, “I’m not now happy.” If we continue to tell ourselves that we’re not happy, that will become our expectation. The word “when” in this context implies that there is some other time than now in which we will experience being happy. And this is simply not the case; there is no time one can be happy other than now!
“I wasn’t taught or shown how to…” is a responsibility shifter. It was someone else’s fault that I wasn’t shown or taught how to do whatever. It is true that much of our individual behavior patterns are learned by watching other people. But we humans have vastly larger abilities than mere imitation. Using this responsibility-shifting excuse usually results in both missing out on doing the thing we think we weren’t taught to do, as well as making the person who “should” have done so feel guilty.
“I’m not good enough for…” could be even more damaging than the other examples I gave above. That’s because the word “good” carries an enormous amount of emotional baggage we acquired from the adults who trained us to be who they thought we needed to be, or who they needed us to be for their own reasons. Maybe there was a premium placed on being good little boys and girls. The word “good” in that context connotes “well-behaved” and “quiet” and “no trouble,” to name just a few examples. The repercussions of that emotional baggage are well documented in our popular culture.
More Areas Where We Can Discover Self Limiting Beliefs
The examples of self limiting beliefs I offered above reside entirely in the psychological domain. However, there may be a more powerful domain in which to consider these issues. We can begin to access this other area by considering the possibility that our every-day experience is determined by our belief system and not by our own inner creativity.
Nancy Sloane at Rebel Marketing Design
Perhaps you have heard the phrase “As within so without,” or “What’s out there is simply a reflection of what’s in here.” This is in contrast to our natural assumption that the world is the way it is regardless of our feelings and attitudes about it. I explain it to myself in the following way.
In order to become a functioning member of a society, we have to first learn to see the world in the same or similar terms in which others see it. This amounts to learning to describe the world in a manner consistent with the way others describe it. Endless repetition of this process results in immersion in the description or worldview to the point where we lose the distinction between the world and its description.
The next step is to recognize that our description of the world will always be consistent with our beliefs about it. If you believe that it is not possible for you to live your life in a particular manner, you will not describe your world as a place where you can live that way. For example, I would venture to say that those who fit into a category that is often referred to as LGBTQ+ have probably found themselves believing that they cannot live their lives openly and authentically. And, they will not describe our world as a place where they can do so freely. This would be true of any unwanted condition that a self limiting belief would generate.
Words have power! If we harbor self limiting beliefs, we will speak to others in accord with those beliefs, and those others will take us at our word. They will reflect these beliefs back to us in their words and actions, and those words and actions will reinforce the validity of our speaking. That’s how our world reflects our beliefs about it.
This understanding of how our beliefs determine our world lives “underneath” the psychological domain. Seeking to understand how our beliefs determine our experience puts us on the road of spiritual discovery, leading to uncovering our own inner creativity. We are here learning to be creators of our own reality, and this requires freeing ourselves from the constraints inevitably imposed upon us by membership in our culture. This is true freedom: the freedom to live our lives the way we choose.
